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Most parents or caregivers worry that taking children to events that are related to death will be too hard for them.
However, attending a service can help them deal with the loss.
When your child does not go, they might feel confused, resentful, or hurt for not being included.
Talk to your child about what to expect and what will take place—it may vary based on cultural practices. Examples of things to talk about ahead of time are open caskets, rituals, placing flowers or special items.
Your child may want to help pick out flowers or bring something special for memories.
Share that some people might be crying, while others may smile or tell funny stories about the loved one.
Make sure your child knows they can express what feelings they are having as well.
Ask your child if there is something they would like to do at the service.
Avoid forcing your child to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.
If your child is shy around strangers, talk with them about how to handle hugs or kisses from adults they may not know well.
Do not be ashamed to ask for help or support from family and friends.
If you know the service will be hard for you, it may be helpful to have another adult to help comfort your child or answer questions they may have.
If you have any questions or concerns, you can always contact your child’s primary care provider.
This publication was adapted from information within American Academy of Pediatrics Patient Education Handouts and Healthychildren.org
Reviewed by: TT D.O, AR D.O. | 08/2024